Thank god they changed the name of the Swine Flu to H1N1 Virus! I was scared to death to walk through the grocery store, let alone contemplate eating bacon or pork for the foreseeable future. But now that they’ve switched the name, I feel much better about the whole situation. Heck, I even had a BLT for lunch.
But don’t ever – EVER try to serve me chicken. I’ll throw it back in your damn face. After all, did you know that you can catch a pox from it? And while we’re on the subject, you’ll never get me to travel through Germany. That’s where everyone gets measles. In fact, I can scratch a bunch of countries off my list. You can forget Japan – you encephalitis spreading jerks. And you can keep West Nile to yourself, you fever-loving bastards.
The worst about living close to the ocean though is that I can never go into the water. After all, don’t want to catch crabs. That’s nasty business, I hear.
You’ve got to admit, we really do live in the age of communication, when the pig farmers’ lobby can get the name changed of a worldwide disease that’s already on the tip of everyone’s tongue. The switch from Swine Flu to H1N1 Virus is timely, but if anything, it only demonstrates very short-term thinking. Once the furor around this flu dies down, it will fade into obscurity, just like all the other famous diseases and pandemics we know.
Now if you don’t mind, I’m off to buy milk from an insane bovine.